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Ye Olde Entry

Dec. 25th, 2011

Yeah so I was like scratching my neck with a fork today when I saw this big fuckin eagle:

Just sitting on the kitchen sill just looking at me like “hey bro u got some lychee?”

You know who he looks like?! That big chinese guy’s bird in Mulan. Lao Tzu? Lao shi? I’m not even sure Lao was even a syllable in his name but yeah he rode a horse and was pissed most of the time and had this bird flapping around him all the time. I can’t find a picture of him because the google image search for “big fat angry guy from mulan” doesn’t give me specifics.

Hey have you see this ad for Samsung Galaxy 2 Something?

Like for fuck’s sake people this girl looks at least 6 years old and her parents have NEVER shown her a fish in her entire life?!?!?!?!?! What kind of a stupid little dumb ass PUTS A PHONE IN THE FISH TANK. HERP DERP DER IS A FISH IN DA PHON DERFORE I MUST PUT DA PHON IN DA TANK WHR IT WIL B SAFE. Ffs, 1. You do not put a phone in water you stupid little girl. 2. If the fish is doing fine swimming around in the phone then leave it alone. For goodness sake don’t touch fish.

Also it may be the smartest of smart phones but that girl is like the stupidest of stupid chicks.

Speaking of dumb kids, I was teaching Gina about the planets in the Solar System.

Trin: “Why planet is after Saturn?”
Gina: “Uhuhhuhhhhhhhmmmmmmm”
Trina: “Starts with U”
Gina: “OH :D:D:D UGANDA!!”
Trina: “Yes.”

Gina: “Oh yeah and like um like you know how the earth is spinning in one way and spinning around another way and it’s like always spinning then it gets dizzy so like slow down?”

I’m not quite sure if that was a question or a statement but okay.

ALSO GUIZ I had this rad dream where I saw and talked to every single person I have ever met. It was awesome. Looking back on it, it wasn’t even that long. The scenario was at a wedding, and the bathroom in the wedding location. Literally the dream lasted like 5 minutes. But the highlight of the dream was that I was opening a can of sprite and it fizzed out and I had a foam beard like this:

and then I went to the bathroom to wash it off and on the way I bumped into Simon and Burnsey. I can probably justify that dream because the day before said dream, I was playing around with some hair mousse and I rubbed it all over my upper lip to make a moustache. I probably specifically bumped into Burnsey and Simon because I reviewed the thread on the picture of Simon, Kathryn, Courtney and … “boobage” on a swimming carnival ’10 album on facebook and let’s just say the fight was, intense, grammatically correct and entertaining. This is not it: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=448594530598&set=a.444057580598.385738.558965598&type=3&theater

I'm sorry this post isn't amaing but my tummy hurts and I miss people :(

Anyhow, I hope you have a merry Christmas! I don't celebrate it, but I really really like the atmosphere :) However, i think it's important to remember the reason behind Christmas, even if i may have different beliefs regarding it. A festival should be more about the actual event (in this case the birth of Jesus Christ) as well as being good to people and spending time with family. And presents... a little bit :{> I just don't like it when hillbillies go all THESE PEOPLE R RUININ OUR HOWLADAY WITH THEIR PREACHIN' AN CHURCHIN' AN' WHATNOT! No fool, they are upholding religious values, leave them be. 



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